Friday, May 6, 2011

Keeping It Real

I feel that I have to share a part of myself with you today. No flowers today, so I’ll understand if you want to scoot on to another flower blog…but, for today, I have to keep it real and share with you what’s on my heart.

For the last year my little family has been watching as God rearranges our lives…without our informed consent! We’ve dealt with illness, job insecurity and the reality that some of our (I repeat…OUR) dreams may never come to fruition. Through the struggle our hearts have been changed and we have been forced to let go of our “plan” for security and the American Dream. A seed…of wanting to meet the needs of people, of wanting to love God and people in a deeper way, of wanting to be obedient to the convictions God has placed in our hearts…has grown to the point where we can no longer sit idly and not take action.

So…today I am cleaning out our home and simplifying our belongings as we prepare to put it up for sale next week. I have all of Bliss Flower Studio consolidated into 3 bins and I have to admit it’s been quite an emotional morning. I’m thankful for this blog to keep my connection with the floral industry and so many friends who love flowers along with me.

I guess many will wonder where we’re going…what we’re doing…why we’re selling the house. The short answer is…we don’t know. We only know that God has been preparing us for something and letting go of the house and security we have come to rely on is the first step. We are sure of this first step. Beyond that…we are trusting that He will lead us. For those of you who know me, you will understand the magnitude of this decision. I LOVE comfort and security and want that for my family. However, the events of our life over the last 3 years have made me (painfully, at times) aware that I am not in total control of my life. I can’t control whether or not the people I love have a heart attack, get cancer, have a car accident, lose a job…you get the idea. God has watched patiently for years as I tried desperately to plan and execute a comfortable, pain-free life that captures the essence of the American Dream. In a way it’s just like raising our children…some things we just insist on figuring out ourselves.

As I was going through the house this morning and contemplating what it will be like to walk out the door the final time…handing the keys to a new family who will love this little cottage…I knew I had to share this part of myself with you. I still love flowers, will still write Botanical Brouhaha, will still see my patients as a hygienist…but with a renewed sense of purpose and belonging to my Lord, who saves me from myself. As I sat down to write this post, Katie posted this…

“Terrified and full of joy - I live there. It is possible to be afraid of what obedience might bring next and be full of thanks and overflowing joy and TRUST anyway. This giddy anticipation because we see all that He has done for us and we believe that He can only bring more good.”

That’s it! I couldn’t have said it better myself. We are terrified and excited all at once…because we feel we have heard from Him and we will try to be obedient…

So, it’s back to cleaning closets. Wish you were here to help…would be more fun with a friend! Thank you for allowing me to break from the flowers we love so much to “keep it real”…

Have a great weekend!

Ok…we can’t really go a day without flowers, can we?

tumblr_kz88pzkx9l1qb3edao1_500 pretty little flower

image via Pretty Little Flower



Never A Plain Jane said...

Amy, I know I am among many to whom you have loaned your strength. In the coming weeks I am offering you some in return. You are just like those beautiful landscapes you loved in Santa Fe ( I know a little rocky soil and drought won't keep stop your from growing deep roots and blossoming as prettily as ever, Love you.

Erratt Family said...

I promise lots of hugs and a little respite will be coming your way tonight! Just be prepared to sit back and relax! I love you!

~My Fleur Journey~ said...

There is no doubt in my mind that the more trust we put in our Father, the more blessed we will be.. and He will give us all the things that really matter. Funnily enough, I too work very hard in 'having' comfort and security but I have also sold the flat which I loved recently and will be moving out in a month's time. So I do understand the feeling... but I believe that when one door closes, He will open not just another, but 2 doors for His children.. so it is very exciting!!

Tracy Huntley said...

Thank you for sharing from the heart, Amy. I will be praying for you also as you wait upon the LORD. I will be excited to hear where He will lead you and your family!
In Christ's love,

Em said...

You guys are so in tune and diligent. I think it's amazing and you are being an example to so many and reminding us all of what is truly important in life. You're right on. It's going to be tough and emotionally draining leaving your home but the unknown can be exciting and no matter where you end up you will make it your home and it will be beautiful. Love you! And I for one love a "real" post every now and then so I know what's going on with you!:)

Alicia said...

It is the first time I see your blog, and I think is going to be one of my favourites.
I wish you good luck and hope you will find a better place to be happy.